Late Day Thoughts....

I was sitting on my porch in the late evening sun, listening to a murder of crows across the street - considering "being called" - I was challenged by an idea that was presented to me this weekend; how very often we are afraid to be amazing. And as I thought of that idea, excuses came to mind "of course we are!"

I could say that I'm called to various things; but what do I know? We move through life, with the ebb and flow of work, play, weather...

I live, says the believer, I live in the sight of God. Through his grace I am acquitted before his judgement seat. I live in his loving kindness, his light and his love. I am wholly delivered from all my sins. There are no further unpaid accounts against my name in his debit book. The law makes no more demands on me, it pursues me no longer, neither does it condemn me. I am righteous before God, even as he is righteous. I am holy and perfect even as my God is holy and as my father is perfect. The entire goodwill of God embraces me: it is the ground whereon I stand, the roof beneath which I hide. All the blessedness and peace of God raises and bears me aloft. It is the air I breathe and the nourishment on which I thrive. There is no more sin in me, and I have ceased entirely to commit it. I know that I am walking in God's ways and doing his will. I know that my whole life is fashioned in accordance with that will, whether I walk or stand, sit or lie down, am awake or asleep. Every thought I speak and every deed I do I think and do according to his will. Wheresoever I be, at home or abroad, it is according to his gracious will. I am acceptable to him, whether I be at work or rest. (Kohlbrugge)

The desire of my heart is to follow Christ. If that be in simply living, then, therefore, that is to be enough.

Yet, I am sitting tonight on the idea that even as I challenge myself, it may not lead to what I think it should. A call, whatever it may look like, may not be a lifelong thing. For example, when I was eighteen I was going to be an accountant. Today, at 32, I am a wife, mother, part-time receptionist. Who knows what will be next.