I had a funky dream last night. I ended up at a strange hotel and had a good long conversation with Donald Miller. The hotel was strange because it was a "safe space" - imagine this present darkness meets war meets portland or something. Anyway, outside of the fence surrounding this hotel there was demonic activity; oppression and deception, that sort of thing, and the impression I had in my dream was that the goal was to stop the work that went on in the hotel - varying levels of ministry: teaching, encouraging, discipling, mentoring, prayer...
It was all quite interesting to wake up from, as I have been struggling, of late, with 'the demons in my mind' - much like the fence surrounding the hotel, there are spaces I can sense the presence of God in my life and His work... and outside of those I am in a war.
And why Donald Miller? It's all so random, but yet not, as I think the mentoring project is the most wickedly awesome thing to come around the pipe yet. Truly, truly, I long to be in this kind of ministry. I long to encourage, comfort, challenge, and teach. I long to shape and mold.. and I think, occasionally, that when my girls are grown that is what I will do with my time... who knows.
All of this under the Heading - Anchor. What is your anchor?
My anchor is Christ.
My hope and foundation are in Christ, and I love the word of God as it unfolds when I read it. I made a commitment last month that if I plan to read all these other books, and consider writing one, I must read the bible at an equal level. I don't know if I realized how much I read. whew. So I read the bible now, and not much else. I just don't have a lot of time!
I read some of the new testament, because I prefer it, and then decided to jump over to the old testament. I landed on Ezekial and my first thought was, wow, I would love it if God spoke to me like this. Of course, right after that thought I read the part where God uses Ezekial as an example to reveal his plan for Israel (um, I take that back, God!) Ezekial was a man of great faith...
On to continue challenging myself with truth and dealing rightly with the lies...
Summer Holidays
Ah, the joys of summer.
The backyard fun, the barbeques, the sunshine and bike-rides... and my adventures in "gardening"
The raspberries are delicious; this week I have eight blueberry plants and three bag balm flowers to settle. The grapes are probably going to be small and not so delicious again this year, due to our lack of attention. The strawberry patch is just about done, and once it is they will be fruitful and multiply, all for the joy of my children!
My favorite things, the tree's, are looking quite majestic again this year - they need (and get) very little from me... My baby corkscrew willow has grown taller than I, which has me excited to watch it shoot higher this season. I have a tiny azalea, a cast-off gift from a woman dying of cancer early in 2008, which made it through its first official winter (and one that, I'm quite sure, it should have died through!) Now for a second summer, and I have to be highly dedicated to the watering of this baby... and the mulching... thankful it is very small.
On to the rest of summer then....My work is good, simple, easy, it is purposeful and gives me a grid to settle my time around. Being a working mom is not so easy, simple, or settled. Having never done this before, I feel like an insane lunatic. Add to that the joys of tween-dom, and the sad and sorry state of affairs on my social calendar, and the working mom part of me is a wreck! It will pass, though... And one day I will look back on this, like everything else, and say, hmm. ah, well, it was as it was!
I'm hardly cooking a thing; if I do cook its in batches of two and we eat leftovers of the extra. We are eating a lot of peanut butter sandwiches - so I'm not exactly in bikini form (that too, was lost in jr high, like my mind!!) My lovely ovens have a mind of their own now, and my joys of baking are screeching to a halt over the angst of oven temperatures. Can't win it all, now can we? Perhaps in the fall the oven temp gauges will straighten out like the burner did so well, and I will be able to bake again. Or not... tis a season of life for everything...
As we track through the book of Ecclesiastes this summer at church, I make startling little revelations that I make note of... things like the fact that God has appointed a time for everything, and those things will take place whether we accept the hand of God in them or not. It is comforting and freeing to be able to say "I believe in God and His plan" - to give Him the glory and the heartache, rather than try to hold onto it all myself and control it and own it and figure it out. As if I'm very good at letting it all go anyway, but its a novel idea in it's own right! And it's a true idea, which helps me get to it, eventually...
I'm writing ten-thousand words a day on the pages in my mind, and five words a day in real ink. That too, is a summer holiday reality. It's not for lack of want, but lack of disciplined attention.
Straight on to September, then...
The backyard fun, the barbeques, the sunshine and bike-rides... and my adventures in "gardening"
The raspberries are delicious; this week I have eight blueberry plants and three bag balm flowers to settle. The grapes are probably going to be small and not so delicious again this year, due to our lack of attention. The strawberry patch is just about done, and once it is they will be fruitful and multiply, all for the joy of my children!
My favorite things, the tree's, are looking quite majestic again this year - they need (and get) very little from me... My baby corkscrew willow has grown taller than I, which has me excited to watch it shoot higher this season. I have a tiny azalea, a cast-off gift from a woman dying of cancer early in 2008, which made it through its first official winter (and one that, I'm quite sure, it should have died through!) Now for a second summer, and I have to be highly dedicated to the watering of this baby... and the mulching... thankful it is very small.
On to the rest of summer then....My work is good, simple, easy, it is purposeful and gives me a grid to settle my time around. Being a working mom is not so easy, simple, or settled. Having never done this before, I feel like an insane lunatic. Add to that the joys of tween-dom, and the sad and sorry state of affairs on my social calendar, and the working mom part of me is a wreck! It will pass, though... And one day I will look back on this, like everything else, and say, hmm. ah, well, it was as it was!
I'm hardly cooking a thing; if I do cook its in batches of two and we eat leftovers of the extra. We are eating a lot of peanut butter sandwiches - so I'm not exactly in bikini form (that too, was lost in jr high, like my mind!!) My lovely ovens have a mind of their own now, and my joys of baking are screeching to a halt over the angst of oven temperatures. Can't win it all, now can we? Perhaps in the fall the oven temp gauges will straighten out like the burner did so well, and I will be able to bake again. Or not... tis a season of life for everything...
As we track through the book of Ecclesiastes this summer at church, I make startling little revelations that I make note of... things like the fact that God has appointed a time for everything, and those things will take place whether we accept the hand of God in them or not. It is comforting and freeing to be able to say "I believe in God and His plan" - to give Him the glory and the heartache, rather than try to hold onto it all myself and control it and own it and figure it out. As if I'm very good at letting it all go anyway, but its a novel idea in it's own right! And it's a true idea, which helps me get to it, eventually...
I'm writing ten-thousand words a day on the pages in my mind, and five words a day in real ink. That too, is a summer holiday reality. It's not for lack of want, but lack of disciplined attention.
Straight on to September, then...
Late Day Thoughts....
I was sitting on my porch in the late evening sun, listening to a murder of crows across the street - considering "being called" - I was challenged by an idea that was presented to me this weekend; how very often we are afraid to be amazing. And as I thought of that idea, excuses came to mind "of course we are!"
I could say that I'm called to various things; but what do I know? We move through life, with the ebb and flow of work, play, weather...
Yet, I am sitting tonight on the idea that even as I challenge myself, it may not lead to what I think it should. A call, whatever it may look like, may not be a lifelong thing. For example, when I was eighteen I was going to be an accountant. Today, at 32, I am a wife, mother, part-time receptionist. Who knows what will be next.
I could say that I'm called to various things; but what do I know? We move through life, with the ebb and flow of work, play, weather...
I live, says the believer, I live in the sight of God. Through his grace I am acquitted before his judgement seat. I live in his loving kindness, his light and his love. I am wholly delivered from all my sins. There are no further unpaid accounts against my name in his debit book. The law makes no more demands on me, it pursues me no longer, neither does it condemn me. I am righteous before God, even as he is righteous. I am holy and perfect even as my God is holy and as my father is perfect. The entire goodwill of God embraces me: it is the ground whereon I stand, the roof beneath which I hide. All the blessedness and peace of God raises and bears me aloft. It is the air I breathe and the nourishment on which I thrive. There is no more sin in me, and I have ceased entirely to commit it. I know that I am walking in God's ways and doing his will. I know that my whole life is fashioned in accordance with that will, whether I walk or stand, sit or lie down, am awake or asleep. Every thought I speak and every deed I do I think and do according to his will. Wheresoever I be, at home or abroad, it is according to his gracious will. I am acceptable to him, whether I be at work or rest. (Kohlbrugge)The desire of my heart is to follow Christ. If that be in simply living, then, therefore, that is to be enough.
Yet, I am sitting tonight on the idea that even as I challenge myself, it may not lead to what I think it should. A call, whatever it may look like, may not be a lifelong thing. For example, when I was eighteen I was going to be an accountant. Today, at 32, I am a wife, mother, part-time receptionist. Who knows what will be next.
Just Courage
On Flowerdust.net, there is a book giveaway today; Just Courage by IJM Founder Gary Haugen http://www.flowerdust.net/
This is a book that talks about injustice, and one of the commenters said something that hits the nail on the head so hard it just about shatters it (thank you Blane Young):
This is a book that talks about injustice, and one of the commenters said something that hits the nail on the head so hard it just about shatters it (thank you Blane Young):
Anne said: “I shove out of my heart the very things that make up the heart of God.”Change must occur within me first; I have to give in order for others to receive...
I am guilty of this same offense and to be honest, I think my heart gets set on ministry instead of God’s heart for people.
What the difference, one may ask?
Well, one includes lights, campuses, motion videos, vans, and rock music.
The other one involves concepts such as love and compassion, matched with life-changing actions. The part that scares me away most of the time is that the life change must occur within me first. I have to give in order for others to receive, and having less, isn’t usually a ministry goal.
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